bombs – Kawther Ljustermo

I still don’t believe that the Israeli attacks on Gaza happened. It is incredible that I’m alive!. Everything happened like a long nightmare.. Each moment passed slowly, while my heart was beating too fast, and its pulses was like a bitter drops of water..

Was it a war?. I convinced myself that it was nightmare, and just now I got up. But I couldn’t tell myself a lie, and then living in a circle of lies. Yes, it was a war. And I wasn’t killed by that missile when it fired near my room..

When I say ‘I’m alive’, that doesn’t mean I’m full happy. Because many people were killed in that unfair battle, conflict, war, inhumane game.. call it as you see it. But I was in the bloody side, I didn’t get out of that inner room for nine days, and I couldn’t sleep more than two hours every two days.. There were no shelters, and no healthy place to be protected. Look, it doesn’t matter. The major problem was the BOMBS. One cannot accustomed to live in fear. And we, whether the Palestinians or the Israelis, will never get used to hear the sirens or the explosions.. That’s not a routine!.

The ceasefire was done after nine days of fighting. We don’t know how long will it last? And when will it collapse?. But we can keep our thoughts and feelings go straight towards peace, let’s try to do that. Tell your parents that the Palestinian just love their land and want to return to their homes in Tel Aviv, Jaffa, Jerusalem.. ect. Call upon your friends in Israel to act, and stop blaming others. It’s time to build new peaceful country.

I think my eyes are gonna bleed.. I’ve been trying to sleep for 5 hours, I’m trying to sleep.. but when I’m about to fall asleep, I see red and yellow light, and I hear massive explosions.. it is the fifth bombs.. no, no.. it exceeds 20 bombs.. the Israeli air raids targets place very close to our house.. the loud sound of drones is irritating me, I’m not going to tolerate its buzzing.. its sound drills in my head..

Actually there is no chance for a sleep!

I’m writing everything.. At the same time, I’m remembering the last Israeli war on Gaza in 2009.. I can’t assimilate anything.. feeling like I’m freezing to death. My parents have opened the windows, the world outside is burning.. the streets are empty.. Nothing else than the shells when they fall down on the city like bloody rain.

The electricity just went off, the internet went down either.. more loud explosions hit the place I live in. I’m hearing doors, window panes, and glass all breakdown in the area.

we are all gathered in one room. The radio is on. We do not turn it off.. bad news, horrible reports. When the shelling starts, we, my sister and I, get very scared. We close our eyes. We cannot do anything else. Closing our eyes is the only thing that helps so that we don’t see the yellow and red lights of the shells when they are falling.. Our parent hold us and try to calm us down. All of us are young, only a one year baby girl. She is very innocent. When the explosions happen we convince her that they are fireworks. I cannot hide my tears when I see her playing because she doesn’t know what is really happening and that we could all die in any moment.

My family and I are under the fire. North Gaza is firing. War doesn’t recognize life!