Gaza syndrome

Gaza is a city box of 365 km²  with a population of almost two millions.  Yesterday the Israeli attacks extended its bloody power and started bombing the civilian neighbourhoods, actually in Gaza everywhere is a civilian place.

I don’t know how many one was killed or injured, I even don’t want to know. It’s scary to read the news or to open my Facebook account and find my friends in Gaza updating their statuses with horrible photos they took from their windows. They have been writing the news until now about what’s happening there, while I’m sitting at my computer in the very peaceful Stockholm, following the updates all the time. I get relieved whenever I see a friend posted something, then I know he or she is still fine.

I thought that leaving Gaza will erase the war memories day by day, but it seems impossible. The ties between me and that city are getting closer. Frankly, I don’t like Gaza at all, and I never thought about going back to it or visiting it. The only thing which ties me with it is my family, otherwise there’s nothing worth to be back to it.

I had great memories in that city box, when I was child, I always spent most of my summer holiday days at the sea with my family. I had also wonderful friends, we went together to the same school and played a lot with the smooth sand in the backyard of our house. Every very early morning of Friday, I went with my dad to the souq (open air food shopping), he liked to buy the fresh local vegetables and fruits. I had many good memories, but mostly bad and horror ones.

I asked my friends who left Gaza if they have the same feelings about loving and hating Gaza, and they said ‘Yes, the same we have’. It’s what I called ‘Gaza Syndrome’, when a person gets out of a war, hating that bloody place and then loving it. Why? Because the person became a victim of the flash back of the peaceful city before of the war and conflicts.

Today, early morning I got a photo from my brother, it was a metallic piece of a shell that flied onto the house roof, obviously the bombing was just around my family house. It was the worst thing could happen: to wake up in a peaceful place and to receive a scary photo from your brother who could not sleep during the night; because of the loud sound of the shells and military planes. Later my sister texted me that my pregnant cousin was killed today by an Israeli shell destroyed her house, her little daughter lost her leg and the other daughter got deep injures in her head.

It is the first of Ramadan, I’m supposed to phone my family and wish them a ‘blessed Ramadan’. But until now I couldn’t do that, because I will just collapse crying.
After all that, how would I wish a blessed Ramadan to my beloved family who’s suffering of being under the fire?. I asked my sister to send me messages to assure me that my family is OK. Until I grab my strength and talk to them.

One thought on “Gaza syndrome

  1. ‘Gaza Syndrome’, when a person gets out of a war, hating that bloody place and then loving it. Why? Because the person became a victim of the flash back of the peaceful city before of the war and conflicts.

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