( Just a quick post for now)
It’s hard to be Palestinian!
Anything just reminds you of being Palestinian,
summer holiday
when friends book tickets to travel to their homelands
going to shops and thinking about my siblings they would like that chilli chocolate
being a Palestinian
means lots of stories
strange, unfair, sad, lost..
I live in Sweden, but my mind and heart are still their in Gaza. Only my body is in Sweden. I enormously miss my family. I have to check the news if their is a war coming soon.. yes, it is like a horror film, people wait for it.
I have to talk with my mother everyday, she’s the angel who always held me during the wars, she’s the strongest woman when I’m weak.
In Stockholm, every morning I wake up, I open the curtains and look at the street thinking that whether I’m in a peaceful country or in Palestine?. It must be a dream. The peace always lived inside me. But that is the truth: I’m in a peaceful country, I don’t have to think about buying tins and bread for the war, I don’t have to worry about myself when I walk i the street.. I don’t look at my siblings as if I will never see them again because we live under fire.
I’m lucky that I moved to live in Sweden. At the same time, it doesn’t mean that I’m totally happy . There are lots of things must be fixed until I heal my bloody memory and get rid of life fears which I always had in Gaza.
Kawther AbuHani 
Hey Kawther!
Maybe what I say will help (or maybe it will not…) – I know the way we grew up is so very different, but we have in common one thing for sure, which is that we chose to leave the place where we were born, and start again, somewhere new – somewhere different, away from the people, sights, sounds, smells and experiences that shaped our early years. Everything changes “under our feet”, and we suddenly have to learn how to walk again…
For even the most seemingly “easy” of moves, where one Western country has some similarities to others – it can be challenging. For you, perhaps, even more so – because you left behind not just people, but quite a dramatic place, very different from Sweden, I imagine. I can’t perhaps say anything that would equal what you have experienced in these changes, and what you worry about happening back in Palestine – but I hope in some small way if I say “you aren’t alone”! Maybe it helps. What you’ve done is not an easy thing! But your whole life is enriched by the unique experience of living in multiple countries. While we’re on this Earth, I think we have to remember to grasp the beauty in every moment.
You always inspired me to that, when you wrote from Gaza. You found beauty everywhere, and shared it with others. Just do not forget, now, to do this for yourself.
It’s hard to be “totally happy”, I think. Even in a perfect, peaceful place, the human mind can find ways to find dark corners. We just have to remember sometimes, to look out the windows.
I was so glad to see an English post if only because I am not always so sure how to respond on the others. I wish you well, and I wish you all good things, and peace – for your mind, and your loved ones. 🙂
– K
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How kind and wise you are K.
Thanks for always being around 🙂
Kawther
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