It is the fifth night, under the control of fire, terror and the ghost of “F-16”. It is the fifth night in the hands ofIsrael. I sleep and rise to the sound of explosions. Sleep with fear surrounding me. Sleep with that weighty question “Who will be killed tomorrow?”. Oh my God, I do not want to end my life by this violent way, I do not want my name to be added to the list of martyrs killed by Israeli rockets.
Today I decided to get out of the house. I was very angry, very sad. The streets were empty of people and cars, I went to the university although. There were only some students and some professors .. I did not want to get scared, but I was really afraid. Could not help it!.
It is a terrible mistake when one says about the Gazans, “their hearts are too strong, don’t afraid,” and the very ridiculous when add saying ” they – the Gazans – got used to war and trouble life.”
Damn. Does that mean that you can live even only one moment under the bloody dark of war?. I do not think so.
We were born here,Israel’s destruction always around us, but that does not mean the destruction of war have become as a part of our psychological and existential form.
It Is Impossible!
On my way to the university, as I was in the car, I was praying and trembling, “God, Please, Do not allow the military Israeli aircraft bomb our car”.. The roar of the F-16 was rushing the fear into my heart .. We heard an explosion very close to our car, but the driver quickly drove us away..
These days, I’m living with sadness, hearing sad news. I’d like to break the radio and shut the television off, and stay away from internet .. But…
There are problems must be solved. The conflict between Israelis and Palestinians must end. We must regain the Peace before it is too late.. before losing more of innocent people.
Kawther AbuHani 
"Lead me from death to life, from falsehood to truth; Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust; Lead me from hate to love, from war to peace; Let peace fill our heart, our world, our universe." – Satish Kumar
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Kawther,My heart is with you. I know that you are terribly afraid. I would be too. If you let sadness and fear overcome you then they have won. What you said in the end is true, even though you wish to escape, you know that problems must be solved, that the conflict must end before more innocent people are lost. Fear overtakes us and we can no longer think clearly, and that is evidenced by the actions of the Israelis. But you have a mind and a heart that is brilliant. I think that you will be a great leader one day. Please stay safe and keep your loved one's close. You are loved. We pray for your safety and that of your family.Salam Sister,Noelle
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kawther, i am so sad and sorry that you must live with this daily fear. i will never understand war. countries go at it and beneath the hostilities people just wanting to live their lives can't.i agree with noelle. you may be destined for something larger than is apparent. i hope this blog and your writing brings its own freedom and comfortand i hope from time to time i help you laugh….lovekj
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